you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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