..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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