it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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