walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
