Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
