Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
