oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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