And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
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He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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