I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
