next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize