It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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