"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
