You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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