shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
