you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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