you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize