Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
