Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
In America we eat man semen.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
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I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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