dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize