Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
