He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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