GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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