awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
