If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
