thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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