new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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