New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
