I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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