I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
