Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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