And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
