we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
