the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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