i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
why is half of my head shaved?
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