I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
