Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
