I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
