I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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