Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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