I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
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I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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I'm too high and old for this...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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