do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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