I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
