I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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