well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
