Michael Bay diarrhea
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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