We're like a lot better than the average bears
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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