You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
