Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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