Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize