Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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