I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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