So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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