Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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