It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
not ubering you a puppy
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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