Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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